Anatomy of a Sighting

  • 0:00 — Contact

    Movement in the treeline. Definitely movement. You say "guys" in a voice you have never used before.

  • 0:04 — Commitment

    Binoculars up. Phone out. Someone in the back seat is already narrating. The car has gone completely silent.

  • 0:11 — Resolution

    It has not moved in eleven minutes. It will never move. It is a stump, and on some level you knew that at 0:02.

Regional Sightings

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Yellowstone, and a stump.

There was a bear. I am certain there was a bear, because I said there was a bear, out loud, to several people who then stopped their car.

It was a stump.

I Got Stumped exists for everyone who has stood at a pullout with fogged binoculars, absolutely sure, and been wrong in front of witnesses. It's the best kind of wrong. You were outside. You were paying attention. You wanted so badly to see something that the forest handed you a stump and you took it.

We make shirts about it. That's the whole business.

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  • Made to order

    Every piece is printed after you order it. Nothing sits in a warehouse. Nothing gets thrown out.

  • Ships in 2–5 business days

    Production, then transit. You'll get tracking the moment it leaves the printer.

  • Sized for real people

    Unisex sizing runs true. Full size chart on every product page — check it before you order, since print-on-demand returns are limited to defects.
Button label

Questions, Anticipated

Is this a real wildlife brand?

No. It's a brand about the ninety seconds before you find out it wasn't wildlife. Different thing entirely, and honestly the more common experience.

What if I actually saw the bear?

Then you are among a small and fortunate group, and you should absolutely still buy the shirt. Nobody checks.

How does sizing run?

True to size, unisex fit. There's a full measurement chart on every product page. If you're between sizes, go up — these are meant to be worn over a layer.

When will my order arrive?

Items are printed to order, so allow 2–5 business days for production plus 3–7 days for shipping. Tracking goes out automatically once it ships.

Twelve species. One outcome.

The Checklist tee lists every animal the brochure promised you: bear, moose, elk, wolf, bighorn, the whole roster. There is a box beside each one. There is a thirteenth line at the bottom that just says stump, and that is the only box anyone has ever checked. Printed on a mid-weight tee that survives a truck bed, a campfire, and roughly four hundred washes.

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Sightings by Region

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